How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone: A Helpful Guide
When you meet someone new or interesting with whom you feel some sort of chemistry, it is natural to find yourself getting attracted to them. You may find yourself often lost in their thought or wanting to spend more time with them. This is all perfectly normal.
But what if you simply can’t stop thinking about that person? An obsession with any person is never healthy and can lead to a lot of dangerous situations. If you’re worried about having obsessive thoughts and are wondering how to stop obsessing over someone, this article will help you out.
What Does It Mean When You Can’t Stop Obsessing Over Someone?
To be obsessed with someone quite literally means you cannot stop thinking about a person. It goes far beyond simply wondering how someone is doing. Everything in your life revolves around this person.
This obsessive thinking can cause you to act irrationally and make rash decisions that can be quite detrimental to your emotional as well as physical health.
Obsessing over someone often involves wanting to be with this person all the time, which can even exacerbate the level of stalking.
Some other signs of obsessing over someone include being possessive towards this person and wanting their approval all the time, feeling protective of them, and wanting to be completely involved in their lives.
Such obsessive thoughts tend to result in uncomfortable situations, often to the detriment of your mental health.
Why Do I Obsess Over People?
There are a number of reasons why you might develop an obsession with someone.
Often, being obsessed with someone stems from a fear of abandonment. It may also be your mind’s way of coping with a fear of rejection or loneliness, which may stem from childhood trauma or previous bad relationships.
However, one of the most common conditions that can cause an obsession is a condition called obsessive love disorder. Although not yet classified as a mental health condition, obsessive love disorder can have debilitating consequences like irrational jealousy, wanting constant validation, extremely low self-esteem, getting overwhelmed by emotions, etc.
How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone: 8 Easy Ways
#1. Determine What Is Causing The Obsession
The first step to getting over your obsession is to understand it. This is where introspection becomes of utmost importance. You need to identify what triggers this obsession. Why do you like this person so much? Why are you obsessing over them?
Obsessive behavior is often found to have links to your relationship with your parents as well as your past relationships with significant others. Do some research into attachment styles; it can help you better understand your emotional patterns.
#2. Take Help From Your Friends
A robust support network can get you through almost anything! No matter how determined you are, if you’re thinking of tackling your obsessive thoughts by yourself, you have an uphill struggle. Accepting help from your family and friends to help make this process easier.
Open up about what you are struggling with; your friends will be more than happy to hear you out and help you get over the person you’re obsessing about. The people you surround yourself with can make all the difference in improving your emotional well-being.
#3. Focus On Yourself
Shift your focus from someone else to yourself. Self-improvement, self-care, and self-love will help improve your sense of self-worth and self-esteem, which can in turn make you understand that you are worth so much more than some validation from one person.
Focus on what you can do and what you can achieve to make your life better. Get to know yourself again and set new goals. It’s time for you to get your life back!
#4. Socialize With Your Friends And Family
Obsessing over someone can often cause you to isolate yourself from your loved ones and spend too much alone with your thoughts. You may feel just fine letting your thoughts revolve around this person, but if you want to stop this mania, reconnecting with your friends and family is the best way ahead.
Set up a brunch date with your BFFs, or have your family over for a Sunday dinner. It doesn’t even have to be anything planning. Call up a friend to go for a stroll in the park, or go shopping and watch a movie. Simple things that you enjoy will help get your mind off this person.
#5. Pick A New Hobby
Pick a new hobby that will allow you to focus your mind, energy, and attention on something more productive than obsessing over this particular person. You can try a new sport, join a book club, or learn yoga. Go to a museum, learn how to paint, or start strumming a guitar — let your creative mind run wild.
Learning a new hobby or a new life skill will not only encourage self-learning and development but also allow you to focus more on yourself.
#6. Maintain Distance
One of the easiest ways to stop obsessing over someone is to create distance between you and the object of your obsession. This includes physical as well as online distance. If you’re in a different city from this person but still constantly checking their social media, that’s not helping at all.
Stop following that person on all your social media accounts; better yet, block them so you won’t be tempted. If you share a social circle with this person, limit how much time you spend with them. Ideally, you should cut off all forms of contact with this person.
This includes not having any activities in common where you may meet them, not being in the same social situation as that person, and even avoiding public places where you might accidentally meet them.
#7. Keep A Journal
Keeping a journal is a very therapeutic form of self-care. It will help you structure and organize your thoughts and even serve as a form of meditation where you can simply pour out all your thoughts and feelings on paper.
Oftentimes, you understand yourself better when you have something tangible to go back to. With a journal, you can identify patterns of thought and even your state of mind during any given time. You can also use this journal to release your frustrations, anger, and disappointment or celebrate your little victories on your road to recovery.
#8. Seek Professional Help
Getting over your obsession with someone is not an overnight process. So, having a mental health professional on board can help you manage your obsession and make your healing journey more defined.
With the proper treatment, you will be able to identify your obsession triggers and get this obsession under control so it doesn’t rule your life.